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05.02.05 - 10:03 pm I just feel out of place everywhere. I'm awkward in all that I do. I can't hold a conversation with my best friend without feeling like I'm doing something wrong. I'm changing again, and I don't like where this is going. I think that something's on my mind, but I just can't get at it. I've been in a weird, uncomfortable place. Maybe it's just realizing that I'm going to college in five months. I've been thinking a lot about my decision in where to attend. I'm positive that I did not make the right choice, but what would have been the right choice? A small liberal arts school a day's worth of flying away? Or, god forbid, U of O? I didn't choose to go to Lincoln, but I am having the best time of my life. I know that I can make it work wherever I go, yet I still think about it every day. What's worst out of all this is that it's being reflected in my play. I'm not confident on the field, I'm not taking it seriously, I'm not interacting well with the team. I could immediately blame countless aspects of my non-athletic life, but I need to do some thinking as to what is really throwing me off. I will be attending one day of school in the next two weeks thanks to IB tests. Looks like I'll have plenty of time to think soon. This is all just so confusing.
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